


Strange Saturday

by Gina Callen (CALLEN37)



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bodyswap, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-06-02 05:05:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6552175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CALLEN37/pseuds/Gina%20Callen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TOTALLY AU YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Victims of a deranged scientist. The team is shocked to find a whole new way of learning things about each other that they didn't know. Trouble is they don't want or need to find out this way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was one of their stranger cases and Vance sat back as he read the report Hetty had just handed him."You expect me to believe this?" he asked, the disbelief all too evident in his voice.

Hetty looked at him solemnly, "I assure you, Leon, I am not in the habit of telling falsehoods."

"So..." Leon put the file down and looked her straight in the eye, "This really happened?"

Hetty nodded, placed her hands gently on her lap and waited.

"All the team members are alright?" He asked, still not sure that the report he had just read was a joke or not.

"They are all... returned to their former selves and although unhurt, they are all a bit wiser from their ordeal."

"And this is why you couldn't tell me over the phone and you requested a two-week leave of absence for them all?"

"Leon... I experienced it myself and I still l don't believe it. Would you if I hadn't come in person?" Hetty asked.

Leon sighed and shook his head. "No...no I wouldn't," he admitted.

* * *

One Month Ago...

They were investigating the case of a missing scientist and psychologist, who had worked with NCIS personnel and had gone missing. The woman had taken confidential files when she left and a Marine assigned to protect her had been murdered. The team had spent four days combing leads and, apart from the worrying fact that she had access to their files, nothing else had come up.

Despondent and tired, Hetty had suggested the team go out for a meal, take Eric and Nell along with them and urged them to rest and regroup before starting to look again on Monday.

Callen had agreed, knowing that the team needed to relax and de-stress, with the hope that something would jump out at them after they had rested. He also agreed with Hetty's idea to take Eric and Nell with them.

They had worked almost the whole four days solid.

Well, Callen didn't know about Eric, but for the last three nights, Nell hadn't been home, that was for sure.

He walked into the bullpen and whistled, making everyone jump and caused both Eric and Nell to look over the balcony.

"WHAT?" Deeks yelled falling off his chair, and landing on his butt on the floor, as both Kensi and Sam pulled their guns on smirked.

"Wow... Eric never gets that reaction."

"G? What the hell?" Sam asked.

"We are leaving... All of us. NOW!" Callen closed his laptop and picked up his bag.

"We got a lead?" Kensi asked.

"Nope." Callen looked up at the balcony, "Come on, you two as well," he called.

"Us?" Eric asked, confused.

"You eat, don't you, Beale?" Callen called back, as Nell grabbed Eric's arm, and dragged him away before he said anything else.

"Food?" Sam looked confused.

"Yes, Sam, food. Pizza, tacos...in your case some unnamed salad type thing, food. We've all hit a dead end and we need a break. Hetty is paying for dinner, for all of us. We take tonight off, relax, and hit the ground running on Monday."

"Hetty's paying?" Deeks grinned, "So...Steak?...Lobster?"

Kensi laughed, as Eric and Nell entered the bullpen, "Anything with chocolate is fine by me," she grinned.

Callen walked over to Hetty and Granger, who had just entered her office, "Are you two joining us?" he asked.

Hetty shook her head, and handed him a black credit card.

"No, my boy, Owen and I have our own paperwork to do, but you and the team enjoy, and I will see you all rested and rejuvenated on Monday morning."

Callen nodded and followed the rest of his chatting team, out of the building.

* * *

Waking up, his head hurt, and he couldn't see properly.

"Ow!" He reached up to rub his aching head, and stopped as his hand ran through hair that was longer than normal. "What the hell?" Eric's voice rang out.

Callen looked around, but he couldn't see him.

But he could see... _ **Callen!?**_

Lying on the floor about a meter away, still. He scrambled away in panic.

How could he be moving and still see himself on the floor?

The other members of the team were still unconscious."Sam?" he called.

Still, it wasn't his voice he heard, it was Eric's voice.

Deeks moved, and looked over at him, "Eric? What the hell, man?"

Callen sat up and looked down at his hands. "Deeks?" Callen stood up, still glancing over at his body on the floor, and surprised at how much taller, even if a little blurry, everything was.

He walked over to a mirror on the wall.

"What the hell?!" It was not the reflection that he was used to seeing that was looking back at him. It was Eric's face and body, to go along with his voice.

Callen walked over to Deeks, his mind freaking out, but he frantically realized that he needed more information. He just compartmentalized his terror until later, when he could deal with it without witnesses.

He looked over at the others, Callen...or whoever was in his body, was still out cold.

Deeks was just waking up and Sam, Nell, and Kensi were still asleep. A cursory glance showed that they were breathing, and didn't seem to be injured.

"Deeks?"

The person in Deeks' body shook his head, "It's me...Sam...what the hell, Eric, what is this?" Deeks' voice came out, and Sam clamped his hand over the mouth of the body he was in.

"It's me... G..." Callen said. "I think, maybe...we're dead and this is Hell. I'm in Eric's body."

"What the hell happened, G?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. I don't remember anything after leaving the mission, you?" Deeks' head shook, "Damn!...he has too much hair!" Sam swore, as Deeks' hair got into his eyes. "I remember going to the restaurant. We were served by that waitress...and you said... I mean Eric said he thought she looked like..." he trailed off as his memory failed him.

"I said she looked like our missing scientist." Callen's voice came from across the room. "Why do I sound like Callen?"

"Who are you?" Sam {Deeks} asked.

"It's me guys...Eric...I..." He stopped as he stood up, "Why am I short?"

"I am not short!" Callen argued back at his body.

His face smirked back at him, then looked confused. "You can see?" his body {with Eric inside} asked him.

Callen shook his...{Eric's} head, "No..." he admitted, "I can't see a thing."

"Check my right-hand pocket." Callen put his hand in the pocket, and pulled out a pair of glasses, and put them on.

"Eric, you're blind!" Callen stated, amazed at the difference the lenses made to his vision.

"Na...although it is nice to not need them. How did this happen, and is it just you and me?" Eric asked.

Deeks shook his head again, "Damn..." he sighed, moving the hair away from his face, "I should shave this off." Sam sighed.

"You touch my hair, and I'll shoot you," Sam's voice growled.

"Deeks?" Eric {in Callen's body} asked Sam's body.

"Yeah...am I stoned?"

"No...this, whatever it is, is all too real, I'm afraid."

"You know what's going on Eric?" Sam's body looked over at the body currently inhabited by Callen, as Callen's body raised his hand.

"Over here," Eric said.

Finally, the girls moved and were groaning, "Nell? Kensi?" Callen asked.

Kensi sat up and rubbed the back of her neck, "Ow...what the heck?"

"Kensi?" Eric asked.

Kensi shook her head, "Of course not, I'm...Holy Hannah, what's happened?" Nell exclaimed.

Sam smiled, "Hey, Hannah, now all we need to do is wake up my sugar bear."

"That sounds so wrong out of that mouth," Nell's body said, as she sat up, "God I hurt!"

Callen turned to Nell's body not thinking, "Are you hurt, Nell?"

"I'm Kensi, and I'm fine Eric."

He corrected her, "Callen."

* * *

"Well...Isn't this fun?" A woman's voice came from a speaker on the wall, "It looks like my therapy treatment worked."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK as requested, here's a scorecard.
> 
> Sam and Deeks have swapped bodies with each other.
> 
> Callen and Eric have swapped bodies with each other, and Nell and Kensi have swapped with each other.
> 
> I hope this clears up the confusion. (For you guys anyway. Everyone at OSP is gonna be confused as heck.)

 

"Well... Isn't this fun?" A woman's voice came from a speaker on the wall, "It looks like my therapy treatment worked."

Callen pulled his... Well, Eric's knees to his chest as he sat up. He didn't like standing too much as Eric's vision problems made him feel queasy.

"Who are you?" He asked, sounding much less commanding using Eric's voice.

The woman laughed, "You don't remember me Mr. Callen? I am insulted."

Callen shook his head nearly losing Eric's glasses in the process and groaned.

"No."

Again she laughed mirthlessly. "You spent days looking for me, I spent longer watching you. Ever since you decided to dump my sister."

"Your sister? You've done this to us because I dumped your sister?"

He wracked his brains desperately trying to remember who he had dumped. "Joelle? Joelle is your sister?"

"Of course we never met. My name is Helen DeRobertis. I was Helen Taylor. I'm surprised your new geek girlfriend didn't uncover that fact."

"What have you done to us?" Deeks asked, Sam's voice more booming and commanding than he had ever heard.

"I created a compound, quite by accident. This compound is put in the subjects food and you change bodies with whoever's marker I tag you with."

Kensi shot a look over at Deeks. (Or rather Nell's body looked over at Sam) and then got up to sit next to him and hold his hand for support.

Even though Callen knew it was Kensi and Deeks, and Nell and Sam, he couldn't help the feeling of jealousy that raged through him.

"Why us?" Nell asked.

"Well," The voice gloated over the speaker, "I wanted to teach you and Callen a lesson my dear. But as I watched the team I saw who the dynamics were flawed. I think a lesson needs to be learned by all."

"Turn us back." Sam demanded as he, yet again, moved Deeks' hair out of his eyes with a low growl, which made Kensi... In Nell's body, grin.

"I am not an evil person Sam. Joelle cared a lot about you and Michelle. I am just trying to show you…. Well, you will see. You will be pleased to know this is not permanent. It will wear off after a few weeks."

" _A FEW WEEKS_!" Sam exclaimed as he jumped up, "I have to put up with…. _THIS_ for a few weeks!" he pointed at the hair in horror.

"You're not touching it!" Deeks growled back at Sam, horrified that he would end up with his hair on the barbershop floor.

"No one is touching anything." Callen decreed. "We just stay here till it's fixed."

"I'm not fixing you, you have to do that yourselves. Think of this as an opportunity to learn and grow. Anyway, I am going away with Joelle for a while. You'll be over this by the time I get back, I'm sure."

They heard a door close and the microphone clicked off.

"I think she's gone." Eric said, his voice sounding shaky coming from Callen's mouth.

Callen stood up, shaky on Eric's legs, "We need to get out of here and back to Ops."

"And do what?" Deeks asked.

Callen turned to the body of his partner, "We run this the same way we do any op, we find this woman and bring her back."

Sam ran his hand through the annoying hair, he was in charge of now.

"G?" he sighed, "If we get out and get back to ops, Who's going to tell Hetty?"

* * *

Hetty looked up as late, but all together, the team arrived at the mission.

Her eyes widened when Eric started giving orders.

Pointing to Kensi and Callen first he said, "You two, up in Ops, find out all you can on this Helen DeRobertis."

She would have fallen in shock had she not already been sitting down when both Kensi and Callen nodded and ran up to Ops.

Eric then turned to Nell, Deeks and Sam who all went and sat in the wrong desks. "Start digging anything you can on this." He ordered and turned to go and see Hetty.

"Mr Beale." Hetty said, her voice not betraying the surprise she felt.

Eric slumped down in Callen's favorite chair.

"We need your help ma." he said softly so the others couldn't hear him.

"I'm sorry?" Hetty was shocked. Only Callen called her Ma, and then only when he was down or alone. "Is this a joke Mr. Beale?"

Eric shook his head and motioned to the two armchairs in the back of her office space.

"Please?" He almost begged and moved to sit in what Hetty always thought of as Callen's chair.

"Very well Mr. Beale, then perhaps you can explain, just what on earth is going on here. Why did you send Ms Blye and Mr. Callen to Ops."

Eric sighed as he ran his hands through his hair, a move that Hetty had seen on her senior field agent a thousand times.

She looked at him intently, her gut was telling her this was her boy, but her eyes told her different.

Eric looked like he was about to cry and that worried Hetty greatly.

"Perhaps if I make a pot of Camomile tea and you talk to me Mr. Beale."

Eric nodded and put his head in his hands as Hetty moved to make the tea. Whatever was wrong with her team was obviously bothering Mr. Beale and the others greatly.

* * *

Five minutes later she sat, tray on the small coffee table beside them as she poured out the tea.

"Eric?" she said softly as he hadn't moved from the pathetic position he had taken up when she had left.

He took the cup and stirred the liquid intently.

"You trust me don't you?" Eric asked.

"Of course Mr. Beale, If you are in trouble we can help."

Eric shook his head, "No...I mean you trust Callen don't you?"

"Is he in trouble? Are you having a problem with Mr. Callen?"

Eric sighed. "We are all having a problem. But you need to know, I'm Callen."

"Mr. Beale, If this is a joke, it's not funny."

Eric put down the cup and took her hand.

"You found me, running away from a crashed car at fifteen after I had run away from a juvenile detention center. They wanted me charged with aggravated assault."

Hetty's look darkened. "That is privileged information Mr. Beale, you are not to hack into employee records without…"

"I didn't hack, I know this I was there." He looked her dead in the eye. "Duke saved your life when you were undercover in Ireland. He was undercover SAS and you were fighting the IRA. He lost his own wife and son in the attack."

Hetty moved back, "Is this an attempt at blackmail Mr. Beale?" she asked, concerned.

Eric shook his head.

"When we are alone, you like to bake me cookies. You tell me stories of my homeland, even before you knew it was my homeland. You would sit on my bed for hours at night as I had nightmares after….after juvie, and moving in with you. You are the only person I have ever loved like a mother and the first adult I trusted. You made me my first birthday cake and despite the fact I told Sam I had never had a birthday card, you hand make me one every year and make sure you are around to have a meal with me on my birthday. When we are alone, you….you call me son…" He teared up and Hetty looked deep into his eyes.

"Mr Callen?" she breathed in shock.

Eric smiled and nodded.

"How?"

"We went for dinner, all of us. Ended up being drugged and woke up in a warehouse downtown. Joelle's sister kidnapped us, she's the scientist we were looking for. She did this, it's my fault ma." He let out a shuddered breath.

"So, just you and Mr. Beale?"

Eric shook his head.

"I swapped with Eric, he's in my body.

Kensi has swapped bodies with Nell."

"That means…." Hetty interjected in horror. "Mr. Deeks and Mr. Hanna have swapped bodies as well?"

Eric nodded.

"Does Mrs Hanna know? Mr. Hanna and his wife were due to go on a second honeymoon for their anniversary."

Eric's head shook, "I...I didn't know?"

"It was a surprise, he had me make the arrangements. They were due to leave tomorrow for two days." Hetty stood up and placed a comforting hand on her surrogate son's shoulder. "What do you need?"

Callen sat back, "We need a stand down on all active cases, we can't work like this. This can't get out. Sam and Deeks are going to have to sort something out between them."

"And you and Ms. Jones?"

"Damn." Callen swore as his face screwed up. "We can't even go back to our own homes. What is Kensi gonna do when she has to go home as Nell and she finds out that Nell doesn't have her own apartment anymore. Or when Eric goes home as me and finds out that Nell lives there.

Hetty smiled, she couldn't help it.

"I believe it is time for you all to lose your secrets. To make it through this you are all going to have to fess up. Especially when Ms Jones goes home to Mr and Mrs Deeks' home."

" _KENSI AND DEEKS ARE MARRIED!_ " Eric's voice shot up in surprise as Sam's head in the bullpen lifted and he looked over at Nell sitting in Kensi's chair.

"Busted babe!" he mouthed to her.

Nell's head dropped to her hands.

"Damn."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reminder for those like me who are getting confused.
> 
> Eric and Callen have swapped bodies.
> 
> Deeks and Sam have swapped bodies.
> 
> Nell and Kensi have swapped bodies.

Hetty picked up the phone, and Callen answered in Ops.

"Mr. Beale, get the team up in Ops; we have a mission." She put the phone down with a slight smile.

Callen walked to the balcony and whistled causing all the team to look up.

Hating the fact his voice was not his own, he just waved his arms at the others, who all trooped up the stairs, backed by Hetty, and Callen in Eric's body, following up at the rear.

Deeks turned to Hetty, as she walked into the room, "Didn't Callen tell you? We can't go on a mission now!" He said. Again he swiped the hair from his eyes, "I need some Damn scissors." he cursed.

"You are not cutting my hair!" Deeks growled in Sam's deep voice, "I swear if you say one more word about cutting my hair, I'll snap your neck."

"Your neck you mean." Sam smirked.

"Mr Hanna, all of you, while you are in... the respective bodies you are inhabiting, you will all treat them as a temple. As such, there will be no removal or additions of anything. Do I make myself clear?"

She waited as a chorus of "Yes, Hetty." went around the room, as Deeks in Sam's body smirked, flashing his dimple.

Sam grinned back, Deeks' smile just as blinding, "That means no junk food, Deeks."

"Mr. Hanna, I am sure Mr. Deeks will eat healthy, while he is in his current incarnation. However, you all seem to have another problem. Until now I have been content to let you all live your lives, how you wished, as it had not interfered with work. However…."

She paused, and looked around the group. "Mr. Hanna?" Deeks nodded towards her. "Do you not have a…"

"Damn, I'm supposed to be going away with Michelle." He remembered, "Our anniversary, Kam's going to stay with Michelle's sister."

"I'll have to go." Deeks replied, "We can't tell her about this."

Deeks' body stood up, and grabbed Sam by the shirt, " _YOU ARE NOT GOING ON VACATION WITH MY WIFE_!" he snarled.

"I would rather be at home with mine!" Sam's face looked Deeks square in the eye.

"You are not married?" Sam looked at the occupant of his body in shock.

Nell coughed, "Actually, we are... Since the IA investigation came to light, we eloped, and went to Vegas." Kensi explained, as she shot Callen in Eric's body a worried look, he mouthed she knows, and a Nell started fiddling with her, or rather Kensi's hair.

Eric, put his hands on Kensi's shoulders, "Nell and I are together too." Callen admitted feeling uncomfortable at feeling Kensi's shoulders under his hands, rather than the rounded softness of Nell's perfect body.

Callen's head dropped despondently, as Eric heard the news; he had thought that Nell was his best friend.

Nell looked over at where Eric was sitting his his chair. "I am sorry Eric." Kensi said.

Deeks' face broke out into a grin, "Congratulations, man,"

"Thanks, Sam."

Hetty shook her head; it was getting really confusing. "We need to keep this under wraps, out of this room, you will all need to be as you appear."

A chorus of "What? Sorry, and come again?" hit her ears.

Nell put her hands on Kensi's hips. "You mean to tell us that we have to pretend to be who we look like?!"

"Yes, Miss Jones, outside of this room you will be Mrs. Deeks."

She shot a look of horror at Sam, who looked equally horrified.

"Hetty?!"

"No, Miss Jones, I am not asking you, or Mr. Hanna, to betray your partner or spouse. I am asking you all to pull off the best undercover jobs of your lives."

"NO!" Callen stood up, wavering again at the gawkiness that was Eric, and moved towards Hetty. "I can't do it. You can't ask them to do it."

Hetty turned and looked up at him, "Then what, Mr. Callen, do you suggest we do?"

"We all stay at Briar Patch, less chance of slip ups, you'll have to call Michelle and fill her in. But we all need our privacy, and the idea of having strangers…. Well... You know."

Hetty smiled in understanding.

"Very well, Mr. Hanna?" She said, turning to the body of Deeks, "I will contact your wife, explain that she needs to come here. Will your sister-in-law take Kamran, until this is resolved?"

Deeks' head nodded, "Yes, she should." He replied.

The rest of you go to your own homes, take ID in case the neighbors get nosy, and then meet up here, enough clothing and supplies for a week.

"And Monty?" Deeks asked hopefully.

They all smirked at the question, shooting out of Sam's mouth.

"Even Monty, Mr. Deeks." Hetty sat in Eric's chair, as he and the team went to go and do as they were asked.

"Oh, bugger," she sighed, as she turned to use Eric's phone, to call Washington and take the whole team off of active duty.

* * *

After a tense, yet terse call with Director Vance, promising him a visit when the two weeks were up, to explain everything as much as she could, she walked down the stairs to find everyone, but Sam standing with bags of clothing.

"Mr Hanna?" She asked.

Sam adjusted Deeks' shirt, missing his own muscle shirts. "Michelle is bringing me...I mean Deeks some clothes in."

"Does she know what had happened yet?" Hetty asked.

"No, _she_... Doesn't know anything, Samuel Hanna, you had better explain right now!" Michelle Hanna snapped as she caught the end of the conversation.

"Honey."

Deeks turned, and put his hand on Michelle's arm.

"Marty! What the hell?" Michelle pulled away, and moved closer, to who she thought was her husband.

"Mrs Hanna, if you'd like to come with me, I'll explain everything."

Michelle turned to Hetty, her whole body language screaming disbelief. "You can explain why my husband is standing in the corner, as far from me as he can get, while Deeks is calling me honey?!"

She turned to her husband, and put her hands on her hips. "Samuel Hanna, you get over here right now."

"I am here, baby." Deeks replied.

"Eww…. That's just all shades of wrong." Michelle said, stepping back.

"'Chelle, it is Sam." Eric told her.

"'Chelle?" She said in surprise. "Since where do you know me well enough, to call me that."

"Since you sat up with me nights, while Sam was sleeping at home with the kids, after my shooting." Eric replied.

"I never did anything of the sort!" She shook her head, "Hetty, you appear to be the only one acting normal here, tell me what the _**hell**_ is going on?!"

"Mrs. Hanna, please." Hetty motioned for the younger woman to follow, and she did, not ignoring the fact that the group of four men and two women had moved closer together for support.

"Spill it, Hetty, Sam and I were supposed to be going on our second honeymoon."

"I am afraid there has been a small complication." Hetty took a sip of her tea, after she handed a cup to Michelle.

"As you know the team successfully concluded their case yesterday, and went out for a meal together."

Michelle watched, as unconsciously Sam's hand reached out, and held Nell's.

"Oh... _Hell... NO_! Are you telling me my husband is having an affair... With _**her**_?!"

"Not at all, Mr. and Mrs. Deeks are married."

"What? Hetty, no offense, I mean I know you are old, but that _is_ your technical analyst holding hands with _my_ husband!"

"Please, my dear, let me explain." Hetty said, Michelle glaring at Sam, calmed down, and turned to the other woman.

"They were drugged while out for a meal after work." Michelle's look of anger was instantly replaced by concern for her husband.

"What happened?" She asked.

Deeks shook his head, "We don't know, baby, we all woke up in different bodies, not all of us did great from the deal."

"It's true, Michelle," Sam's body said, "I'm Deeks, that is Kensi." He said, pointing to Nell, "Sam got all my awesomeness, and I got stuck in the hulkster's body."

Michelle looked at the pair of them, and noticed how they were all looking uncomfortable and strangely off. Callen was wearing shorts, Eric had jeans and a blue shirt on, and his glasses looked crooked on his face. Nell was wearing jeans and a long plaid shirt and trainers, and Kensi was in a dress with black tights and pumps.

Michelle stood up, and walked over to Deeks. "So... You're Sam, ** _my_ ** Sam?"

Deeks nodded with a look of relief on it.

"Prove it!" Michelle challenged.

Deeks leaned forward, and whispered something in Michelle's ear.

"Sam!" she exclaimed in shock, blushing and stepping back looking at Deeks. "It really is you, isn't it?"

Sam nodded, and pulled Michelle into his arms.

She pulled away, "I...I can't Sam, I mean I know it's you, but it doesn't feel like you... You know?"

Nell smiled, "That's good, I don't like the sight of you making out with my husband either."

"Nell, you're married?…. You're not Nell, are you?" Michelle asked.

Nell shook her head, "Kensi. Been told this should wear off in a few days, but Callen decided that to keep each other's privacy intact, as much as we can; we are all going to stay at Hetty's home."

"So...I give these clothes to Deeks?" Michelle said, slowly.

"Thank you, unfortunately, Monty isn't getting on, with me being his master, so you get him in return."

"Or I could take him." Nell in Kensi's body replied.

"That'll be good." Michelle said, looking Deeks up and down.

"Very well, Mr. Hanna. If you would be so kind as to requisition a vehicle large enough for us all, we will head to my home," She ordered, as Deeks headed off to the motor pool, and the others gathered all their clothes for the next few days, and headed out.


	4. Chapter 4

Callen was glad that Michelle had chosen to drive, although he knew the way to the house Hetty had offered them to use, he felt uncomfortable in Eric's body. Everything was too lanky and having to get used to having glasses on his face threw him. All he wanted was to wake up, in his bed, his arms wrapped around Nell and to be told this was all a weird dream. Unfortunately, he had fallen asleep in the car and had woken up with a jolt as Michelle pulled up to the large wrought iron gates that enclosed the property.

"Nell?" He gasped softly before he realized this was no dream it was true. Kensi's hand held his, giving it a small squeeze.

"It's ok." Nell in Kensi's body whispered, glad that no one else had caught his gasp.

"Eric… Er… I mean… Callen, We're here." Michelle said as she turned off the engine.

"Ok, I'll get the gate." Callen replied as he got out of the car, misjudging the distance he slammed his foot hard on the tarmac. "Damn." He cursed shaking his foot as he hop/walked to the entry panel on the gate and typed in his code.

"Welcome Mr. Callen." An electronic voice came from the state of the art security system, Callen couldn't hold back the smile that came, the same one he got every time he used his code at this particular house. Granted, it had been a few years since he had been here, but this had been the first house of Hetty's he had lived in and the electronic voice had been the same since she had had the system put in; even though it had been upgraded, the voice had remained the same, for Callen it was a little bit of home. Just what he needed to help cope with all this mess.

He stood to one side as Michelle drove past him and stopped in the driveway for him to climb back into the vehicle.

"Is it a long driveway?" She asked.

Callen nodded, "It's a mile and a half, I'm glad you stopped 'Chelle."

Deeks turned to Callen, "I didn't see this house on the list when Hetty went missing G?" Sam said.

"It wasn't on there, this isn't her official house, this is… Her private retreat, it's…." He trailed off, knowing he would have to tell the others eventually, but not wanting to.

"It's what?" Sam's deep rumble came as Deeks asked the question.

Eric's blond head shook and Callen had to reach up quick as Eric's glasses started to slip off his nose. "It's not important. Look, There's the house." He said as the house came into view.

"Wow." Kensi said as Nell's head all but collided with the window as Kensi tried to get a better look.

"Hey! Mind my head!" Nell said to her body.

"Well, I'm not used to having to stretch so far to see anything." Kensi snapped.

"Are you…." Nell put her hands on Kensi's slim hips, her fists balled in anger.

"How the heck did Hetty get there so fast?" Callen's voice, cut through the argument as Eric asked the question.

Eric turned to his old body, "Callen, have you been here before?" He asked, hoping the girls wouldn't get into a full blown argument.

In that second, Eric knew Callen was hiding something, he knew his own tells and when his face, which hadn't had the same training that Callen's own psyche had had lied to him, it lit up like a beacon.

"Once or twice." Callen replied, swiftly looking away as he felt Eric's face heat up.

* * *

Callen all but flew out of the car as Michelle pulled to a stop and headed for the bags in the back of the car.

"Guilty much?" Sam's voice floated after him.

"DEEKS!" Nell's voice scolded him.

Michelle got out and joined Callen taking the bags out of the trunk. "I am not going to get used to this." She sighed.

Callen gave a curt laugh, "You should try it. It's a blast." He said his voice dripping with sarcasm. "After all, if you are watching yourself, you learn a lot about yourself."

"And you don't like what you see?" Michelle asked.

"I didn't say that." Callen growled picking up his bag.

"That's not yours, Eric's got that bag they are full of your clothes. This is Eric's bag."

"He'd better not have those damn polar bear pajamas in there." He picked up the red bag with Eric's name on and a black one.

"That's mine!" Eric called from behind Callen.

Callen turned to watch as his hand reached over and grabbed the bag.

"What's in it?" Callen asked.

"X-Box and my laptop." Eric replied. "I want to see if I can find that scientist woman, I mean she can't have completely disappeared, I figure she's got to pop up on camera somewhere, use a credit card, buy gas... Something?!"

"Let it go for now, we need to get inside and settled." Callen said, "And you had better not have packed me just shorts in there."

"I have….."

"Sensitive thighs, we all know, but I hate shorts." Callen argued as they turned and moved to let the others get their (Bodies) respective bags.

Eric/Callen took the lead up the stairs to the main door where Hetty was standing.

"I'll put my stuff, Eric's stuff, in my room. You want me to help with the others?"

"No thank you Mr. Callen, I'm sure I can sort out our guests, are you sure you don't want to wait and have me assign a room to you?"

Callen shook his head, "I want to get out of this body, but until then I want to have a shower, change and try and get my head together."

"Dinner will be at the normal time." Hetty told him, "You will have to do some explaining at some point you know?"

"I know, but it doesn't mean I have to like it." Callen stalked off past her slamming Eric's slipping glasses back on his face. "I might need some crazy glue to stick these on with!" He called back with a smirk as he jogged into the house.

"Get on with you!" Hetty sighed, "Cheeky bugger." She gave a smile, he may be in Eric's body but that was definitely her Callen.

* * *

Sam grabbed hold of Nell's hand as the climbed the steps.

"The inner sanctum," Deeks whispered to his wife.

Nell's hand balled into a fist and thumped him on the bicep.

"OW!" Kensi yelled, "Damn… Sam's got some muscles there."

"Hey, don't damage me!" Deeks' voice sailed across the driveway.

"You hitting my husband?" Michelle asked with a smirk.

"Nope, mine, he's just hiding behind Sam's muscles." Nell's voice sailed back.

Michelle shook her head, "Damn, I'm getting a headache." She sighed.

"Come on inside." Hetty said as she moved to allow them entry.

They piled into the large entryway and put their bags down.

"I have taken the liberty to assign everyone a room of their own, I feel that due to our present circumstances that would be best."

"I have to sleep without my Ladybird?" Deeks asked as Sam's face morphed into a pout.

"While the present crisis continues, I believe that the owners of the respective bodies you all are presently occupying would appreciate it."

"I know the wife of one of those said bodies would." Michelle added with a relieved sigh.

"Where's G?" Sam asked as he yet again moved that annoying hair of Deeks' out of his eyes shooting a glare in the direction of his own body at Sam's smirk.

"Mr. Callen has gone upstairs to change and shower." Hetty said.

"Shower?!" Callen's voice sounded like it had just shot up an octave.

"Of course Mr. Beale, I am sure that Mr. Callen will take the utmost care of your body and treat it with the same respect I hope you will treat his." Hetty warned.

Callen's head nodded furiously as his face reddened at the thought of G. Callen looking down at Eric Beale's naked body.

* * *

Which was, at that moment, exactly what G. Callen was doing. Or moreover, was trying NOT to do as he showered. He reached for his shampoo, annoyed that he couldn't see the labels clearly on the bottle. "Damn it Beale!" He cursed as he poured his shower gel onto his hair. He knew it would do the job, but he was mindful of the fact that the body he was currently taking care of was not his own. He also was trying to wash up without actually 'looking' at the body he was inhabiting. He rinsed the shower gel from his hair and grabbed a towel walking through into his room, then turning with a curse and going back to pick up Eric's glasses.

He sat on the bed for a moment, It was all his fault and he knew it. Had he done something different with Joelle, maybe none of his team would be going through this.

He sighed, running his hands through Eric's hair. This was a mess, how on earth was he going to fix it.

Carefully the door opened and Kensi walked in.

"Kens… Nell?" Callen asked.

Nell smiled, "It's ok, it's still me, Nell." She walked up to him and held onto his hand, "You need to stop it, you're blaming yourself again aren't you?"

Callen nodded, "Nell, I know it's my fault, If I hadn't broken up with Joelle…"

"You'd have still been with her and miserable." Nell finished off for him.

Callen smiled as he looked into her eyes, desperately looking for the spark that was the woman he loved, "I miss your eyes." He sighed.

Kensi's face smiled down at him, "I do like being tall." She let out a small giggle.

"I miss you…" Callen said again.

Nell giggled again, "I am not having this conversation with you while you look like my best friend." She laughed, "Now get some clothes on and head downstairs." She stepped back and finally looked at the room.

"This is _**The**_ room?" She asked, noticing all the knick knacks, the pictures and the books, more things than were in the room Hetty had given her.

Callen smiled, waving an arm around, "This is it. My first _permanent_ room."

Nell picked up a photograph of him as a teenager, smiling with Hetty standing beside him.

"You look happy." She stated as she placed the picture back.

"I was," He admitted. "There are…. OH Damn!" Callen cursed and started pulling some clothes on quickly slipping Eric's shoes on his feet, "Come on hurry!" He exclaimed.

Nell wondered what the problem was as Callen shot for the stairs, his hair still wet and swinging droplets everywhere.

"CALLEN!" Nell called as she hurried after him. She had to slow at the top of the stairs, still not comfortable enough in Kensi's body to run after him down the stairs.

* * *

Eric looked up from behind Hetty's TV as he set the X-Box up for him and Nell to have their regular game night together.

Kensi was looking at the walls with Sam standing beside her as Deeks and Michelle were walking into the room carrying a tea set Hetty had prepared with a pot of tea.

"G?" Sam said, looking at the panic on the face of Eric Beale.

Eric looked concerned, "Did you damage my body?" He asked worried.

"No… You're fine, it's just…" Callen stopped as Kensi picked up a photograph of a teenaged Callen.

She turned to the tall blond man, "Callen… Is this you?"

Callen swallowed and shot a terrified look at Hetty.

"I… I can explain…" He stuttered to his teammates.

Deeks took the photo off of Kensi holding it carefully in his large hands. "This is you isn't it Callen?"

Callen nodded, "I... Stayed with Hetty for a while as a teenager."

"So why the panic?" Nell asked as she caught up to him and sat down on the couch.

Callen looked down at his feet, "Dunno."

"Full Disclosure, Mr. Callen." Hetty said as she came into join them. "All secrets between us all need to be shared, I know that is a less than ideal situation, but until this… whatever it is wears off, you will be getting to know each other in a more intimate way than normal. I trust you will all be discreet as to what, if anything you find out about the person whose body you inhabit right now. In this vein, I will tell you that Mr. Callen was fostered by me as a teenager, from fifteen till he started college, here at this house."

"That's great G!" Sam said, flashing Deeks' signature grin at his partner.

"Really?" Callen looked up, pushing Eric's glasses back up his nose.

"Yeah!" Eric said as looked up from behind the television, "We don't have a problem with you having a family Callen."

Kensi giggled as she saw Callen with wires in his hand. "Sorry, it just looks weird with you back there."

"What?" Eric asked. "I always do this; I did your house." He reminded her.

"Yeah, but then you looked like Eric, not like Callen. "It's just… Wrong."

"Let's just take a break, I have a new tea for you all to try." Callen moved to let Hetty sit down.

"What sort this week?" He asked.

Hetty smiled, "Japanese white needle tea, I hear it is very calming for frayed nerves." She told him.

Everyone sat quietly as Hetty dished out the tea and they sipped for a few moments in silence savoring the flavor of the tea.

"Do we go looking for DeRobertis?" Nell asked quietly as she moved a lock of Kensi's hair from off her shoulder.

"I have a team out looking for her, they do not know why she is being hunted, just that when they catch her, she will be brought to the boatshed. Until then, I suggest we take this time to get to know more about each other."

"We already know each other Hetty." Sam said as he reached for a cookie.

"Don't!" Deeks said, "I'm allergic." He reached out Sam's large hand snatching the cookie from his hand.

"You are?" Sam asked, "You never said."

"It's the sugar, it sends me crazy, I was hyperactive as a kid." Deeks admitted, "Mom kept telling me I was allergic to sugar."

"That's why you have all that wheatgrass smoothies and stuff?" Sam asked.

Deeks nodded, "Yeah."

Sam smiled, "I bet you were a handful as a kid." He joked.

Deeks stood up, "Sorry Hetty, I just need a minute." He walked out of the room and paced the hallway."

Hetty looked at the body of Deeks sitting next to Michelle looking confused.

"Oh Mr. Hanna." She sighed.


	5. Chapter 5

A reminder for those like me who are getting confused.

Eric and Callen have swapped bodies.

Deeks and Sam have swapped bodies.

Nell and Kensi have swapped bodies.

* * *

Chapter 5

Sam looked confused as his body, looking totally dejected walked out of the room.

"Oh, Mr. Hanna." Hetty sighed, it had all been going so well, but she should have expected this.

"What did I say?" Sam asked as he looked longingly at the cookie on the plate that he now knew he couldn't eat.

Hetty watched as Sam's body paced up and down the hallway and then stopped. His head shook and Deeks turned and walked back into the room.

"Full disclosure right?" Deeks asked in what Sam would term his dangerous voice. Even Michelle picked up on the tone her husband would use when he didn't want to talk about something.

"You don't have to Deeks." Michelle said, wanting to put her hand on her husband's arm like she usually did while he was upset.

Sam's face gave a half hearted smile, "No, I think I do. I'm sorry Sam." Deeks said as he turned to Sam, he started to bring his hand up to sort his hair out, a nervous gesture he had done for years and grinned sheepishly as he remembered that he was in Sam's body and Sam's body had no hair on his head.

Deeks sat Sam's huge bulk into one of Hetty chairs and started talking, "You remember when I was shot at Sands?" He started.

The others nodded, Nell's face looked sad as she {Kensi} reached out to hold his hand, remembering the day her husband had been shot with a 22 caliber pistol at a convenience store as a distraction to lure their team out into the open.

Kensi's face morphed into a sudden realization of where he was going with this, "Gordon John Brandel!" Nell said.

Deeks nodded, wishing he had his hair to hide behind. "My father." Sam's deep voice rumbled. "I thought he was behind my shooting. But…" He looked over at his body sitting next to Michelle and gave a small sigh, "Sam, can you lift my shirt and turn around." He asked.

Sam shrugged but did as he was asked.

Deeks walked over and pulled the top of his pants down slightly. "This here…" He pointed at the thin jagged scar that crisscrossed low over his hips and the top of his buttocks. "This was my 10th birthday present from him." He waited for a moment to let the others see the scar then tapped Sam gently on Deeks' back so that he could lower the shirt. "I'll show you when I have my body back," He said quietly to Sam as he stepped away.

"I was, like you said Sam, 'a handful'. I had short hair then," He mused with a wry smile, "I used to have it in a military Buzz cut. My father insisted. I had had my first birthday at school. I hadn't been allowed to go before. My teacher would give us all a cake for our birthday and I had never had cake before. I was flying on a sugar high by the time I got home." Deeks sat back down feeling uncomfortable in Sam's body wishing intently he was in his own. "My father wasn't the worst father on the planet, but I would assume he was up there somewhere. He hated me. I never knew why, but according to my mother, he was the sweetest guy before I was born. I know that something happened when I was born and he just lost all interest in being a father, well my father anyway." He stopped he wasn't going into that with them. "I tried everything I could think of to gain his attention, I acted like him, I had my hair the same, I… I even treated my mom the same way he did, just trying to make him like me. Anyway, that day I came home excited, I'd had a birthday party and cake. We didn't do that at home and I bounced in the door all hyper, my mom tried to quieten me down, but I wasn't listening and he was drunk on the couch. I didn't see and I smashed his beer bottle. He got mad and took the broken bottle and gave me that as a birthday gift."

There was so much more to that that Deeks wasn't telling, there were more scars as well, but he hoped that knowing about this one would mean that Sam wouldn't mention the others.

Sam looked over at the sadness rolling in waves from his body. "I'm sorry Deeks." He said.

Deeks smiled, "Hey, not your fault. But I learned about a year later, how wrong I was trying to be like him. I refused to have my hair that short again and I was nicer to my mother. We even get along now."

Kensi nodded, knowing how Roberta and she even got along now as well, a lot better since they had gotten married. She had thought Roberta's initial worry at them was due to something Kensi had done, it wasn't until a month into their marriage that Roberta confided that she was worried that Marty would treat Kensi the same as his father had treated her. It had taken a while for Deeks to get over that hurdle, but now his relationship with his mother couldn't be better.

"Thanks for telling us." Callen said, pushing Eric's glasses yet again up his face.

* * *

Kensi turned to say something to Nell and then she went pale and throwing her hand over her mouth, she bolted out of the room in the direction of the bathroom.

Nell went pale and her eyes widened as she realized what was wrong with Kensi. "Oh!" she clamped her hands over her mouth, this couldn't come out now, she hadn't even told Callen yet. In all the confusion she had forgotten, but… the drug? Could she keep it a secret? Could Kensi?

She stood up swaying slightly at the new height that Kensi's body afforded her and rushed out after her.

"Please excuse me for a moment." Hetty said and walked over to the kitchen, looked in the cupboard and walked out in the direction of Kensi and Nell.

"Ms Jones?" Hetty called as she joined them.

"Hetty!" Nell squeaked, as she jumped back from knocking on the door.

The door opened and Kensi looking pale, walked out. She pushed Nell's red hair away from her face, "I'm sorry Nell, I might have eaten something you are allergic to, I didn't think to ask."

Nell smiled, "No you didn't."

"I believe these might help." Hetty said, handing Kensi a packet of Saltines.

"Oh boy!" Nell sighed.

Hetty smiled and patted Kensi's arm, "I assume that you haven't informed Mr. Callen of your condition." she said.

Nell looked sad, "Not my condition anymore is it?" Tears began to well in Kensi's eyes, "I'm…. Well, I'm not now… but…"

"Nell?" Kensi asked, looking up at her friend not liking the look on her face. She handed her a tissue, "Stop crying Nell, you're making me look ugly."

Nell walked to the bottom of the stairs and sat down. "I'm sorry."

"Nell, what's wrong?" Kensi asked.

Hetty stood beside her junior agent for once their height equal. "May I suggest Miss Jones you have a conversation with Mr. Callen and I will fill Ms Blye in on her new found condition."

Nell's eyes widened as Kensi understood what Hetty was hinting at. "Oh!... Oh, Nell!" She leaned forward and hugged her. Turning to Hetty Kensi took the crackers gratefully and bit into one, "I'll go and sit in the kitchen, you tell Callen and then you can tell the others first."

Nell wiped her {Kensi's} eyes and nodded, "I think I should. But you're ok, I mean everything feels 'normal' in there?" she asked worried.

Kensi smiled, "I'm sure everything is ok. As soon as we are all where we are supposed to be I'm sure everything will be fine."

Nell stood up, wiping her eyes again and looked at Kensi's face in the mirror, "You're right, you don't look good when you cry."

Kensi laughed, "You should see me after Titanic. Deeks just hands me some tissues first now."

"Wait!" Nell thought for a second. "You and Deeks are married! You're not… are you?"

Kensi shook her head, "No… Not yet, I'm on birth control." She smiled evilly, "Although I am due on in the next few days, you get my craving for ice cream and my period." She couldn't suppress a giggle. "I packed tampons for you." Her giggle turned into a full on laugh as Nell glared at her, "Wow, I had no idea my glare was that scary no wonder Deeks backs off!"

Nell had to smile at that, "They are, they really are."

* * *

Nell waited on the stairs as Callen walked out to join her.

"Hetty said you needed to talk to me, are you alright?" He asked worried.

"Not really." She pushed Kensi's brunette hair behind her ear and bit her lip as she waited for him to sit down.

Callen sat next to Nell, taking Kensi's hand in Eric's.

"I didn't want to tell you, not while we were like this… Not until I had had time to process it myself, but… well… G. I'm… We're… Pregnant."

"You… We… are?" Eric's face lit up into a huge smile. For a moment Nell regretted not telling her best friend about her relationship with the senior field agent. But then remembered this was not her best friend, this was her lover, her everything and the father of the child that right now Kensi was carrying for them.

Eric's face clouded with worry, "My God, Nell! Is it going to be ok? I mean with all that's happened to us. The drug DeRobertis used." he gripped her tighter.

"G." Nell pulled her hand away, "I'm sure everything will be alright, but you need to calm down. We can't do anything until we are back where we belong anyway."

Callen ran his hand down his face, cursing quietly as his hand collided with Eric's glasses and hit his nose.


End file.
